[Miss Paz Bizarre] Started a tool: Slides

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[Miss Paz Bizarre] Hi. Welcome to neuroking cohort two.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So this is the introductory lesson

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for neurokink foundations.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So it had a big glow up here and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm really excited for everyone to come and join if that's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] your thing. And we had a really good and small

[Miss Paz Bizarre] cohort one and got to iron out a lot of the kinks. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we're gonna go through the intro session, which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is going to be talking a lot about the course.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And, hopefully, I'll answer most of your questions.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] In this way as we go through the slides.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for this, I'm just gonna read off the slides. This one

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and then we will I'll try and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] make it so the background noise

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] not coming in as much. My dog's in the other room.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, hopefully,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that won't affect anything.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If you hear howling, it's not my slave. Okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So are we gonna go through the intro six week

[Miss Paz Bizarre] curriculum, what we'll be covering, a bit of an overview of me,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] homework. I know it's really good

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's where the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] brunt of it the majority of the really good insights come in.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And lesson one

[Miss Paz Bizarre] will be look not answering your questions because I don't have them yet.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But it will show you how the format runs. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] won't have a discussion because this isn't a live. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I will talk about how neurokink cohort two will be running.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So what we're gonna be talking about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is the uniqueness of neurodivergent minds in the context of kink.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So the learning objectives are by the end of this lesson,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] participants will begin to develop and understand

[Miss Paz Bizarre] understanding of how neurodivergent minds experience and engage with kink differently.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We'll identify identify some of the ways in which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neurodivergent traits can shape preferences

[Miss Paz Bizarre] boundaries, and dynamics. And we'll start to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] explore strategies for creating affirming accessible kink spaces for neuro

[Miss Paz Bizarre] divergent individuals. Now, of course,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what changes with this is each cohort brings different people,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] different individuals with different experiences. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the thing about NeuroKink is it's really collaborative, which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is my favorite thing I learn from you

[Miss Paz Bizarre] just as much as you can learn from me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Who the fuck am I? So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this one before I'd like before I talk about anything,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'd like to say that I am

[Miss Paz Bizarre] conscious of my positionality. I am what?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I am privileged. And in essence, I am an academic, a slut,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] autistic, and ADHDer, late diagnosed,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] has bizarre. So I'm the founder of this academy

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and it came out of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a bunch of interviews across the globe. I spoke to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] many autistic Kingstas, newbies,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] people at advanced level, lifestylers,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and also

[Miss Paz Bizarre] some people who had never tried it but want to try

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this was the result creating neuro kinks. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the questions I asked were about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what we're missing in autistic sexuality,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and particularly for kinky, people who identify

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as autistic, formally diagnosed and self diagnosed,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, wanting to explore. What do they wish they'd had?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We talked about their experiences. And if they had any

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and this is what came about.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] if I'm going by a promo way, I would say

[Miss Paz Bizarre] on my YouTube. It says explore neurofirming kink and BDSM

[Miss Paz Bizarre] with a seasoned guide. I've had a very mixed experience

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and that's over twenty years in the adult industry.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Not just as a dominatrix, so it has been I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] been a stripper. I've worked. I've done everything pretty much except

[Miss Paz Bizarre] camming. I've been a manager in a proffle. So I've had a lot

[Miss Paz Bizarre] of experiences since I was eighteen years old. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] can offer unique insights based on that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I started to become really interested

[Miss Paz Bizarre] in creating safe inclusive spaces

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for Kingstas, in particular, neurodivergent ones.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And that came about when I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] suspected I was autistic, and I was diagnosed

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as an ADHD at first, and that was during the lockdowns.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And that came about from my children's own formal diagnosis.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] A lot of the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] presentations that were occurring

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a lot of things that were occurring in their lives, their struggles, their strengths as well.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because we aren't speaking only in deficit based model.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I really related. And then it turned out that I was

[Miss Paz Bizarre] diagnosed myself and then autistic thereafter.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Quite a few years after. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I talk about this a lot on my podcast

[Miss Paz Bizarre] My work is mostly as a dominatrix, as Paz Bazaar. It's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] focuses a lot on psychological submission,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a lot of adult baby stuff, and a lot of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sussification, feminization.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I identify as a humiliiatrix.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I like to, on my podcast in particular,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] talk about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] king and BDSM experiences my own,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and that of others who have allowed me to share their stories.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And a lot of it blends into lived experience, neuro

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neuroscience, and just my life. So I'm constantly

[Miss Paz Bizarre] adult industry,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as well as other intersect intersections of kink and marginalization.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Disability justice. I think it's important to share my true

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and sense of story and perspective.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And being a parent of neurodivergent children,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I've actually been teaching and supporting autistic students since

[Miss Paz Bizarre] my late teens. So they're my two loves. I've

[Miss Paz Bizarre] been in sex work since I was eighteen. I've also been

[Miss Paz Bizarre] educating whether that's I'm now in tertiary education.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And a lot of child development, a lot of inclusion work,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] early childhood development and teaching.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And that has formed a lot of my research.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And understandings of inclusion and neurodiversity.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I just completed my postgrad studies

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm also studying more.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So now I'm onto a master's and that's with an inclusion focus.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I'm writing a book and it is on

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sexuality and disability justice predominantly. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I would say it's a wide range of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] experience, so I bring a variety of that, but I also like

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to learn from you as well.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I think it's important that whether I'm in the academic space or in

[Miss Paz Bizarre] social media, I am speaking from this perspective, which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] while I'm marginalized in some ways as a solo parent, as

[Miss Paz Bizarre] someone who is disabled,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] someone who's a sex worker also, stigma around that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I still am coming from a white perspective.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, yes, I experienced marginalization and stigma.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] In ways, and those intersectionalities exist.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But, you know, the autistic experience, as we know, is on

[Miss Paz Bizarre] spectrum. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's important to know that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm just sharing what I've learned. I'm just sharing what I've learned.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] What I have found to be successful. What I do know

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to be successful and has worked for others,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But intersectionalities always exist.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I'm not claiming to know all the answers. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] there will be people in the space, maybe in the community,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that have other experiences. And I always encourage you to keep an open mind

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And this space will be moderated. I don't want no haters.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] No one's attacking you. I hope we can come together in the spirit of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] community. And I say this because sometimes people can create a

[Miss Paz Bizarre] resource and it's with good intentions

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And still people will say, oh, not all

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you know? Or this is not my experience, so it must be wrong.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Just come in with an open mind, familiarize your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] with the rules of engagement. You'll be warned if

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for whatever reason you missed them,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And, yeah, this space is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for you to feel safe and other people to feel safe.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And it might not be for you, and that's okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I hope it is. I I know it's been useful for cohort one, and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I don't expect it will be for everyone

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's a spectrum for a reason. But even if it's just like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] helpful for a handful of people like the last one was, I'm really happy about that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that's my note on that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Some people have asked me about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] my experience and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I have been even asked what number I am.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] According to my assessment, I'm level two autistic.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I don't really ascribe to the levels because that's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] capacity based, and maybe we can talk about that another time.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm not gonna go into it here. That's more for

[Miss Paz Bizarre] seeking out accommodations and funding, like NDIS.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And perhaps if you that's in Australia, if you're watching this

[Miss Paz Bizarre] from overseas because we did have some overseas.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Participants in the last cohort.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But, yeah, I don't really wanna get into levels.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's quite, to me, dehumanizing. And, yes, even though

[Miss Paz Bizarre] my kids have been assigned levels, it's more so that they could get through

[Miss Paz Bizarre] schooling system and, as I said, get accommodations. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sometimes I have capacity,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and might appear like I'm

[Miss Paz Bizarre] not autistic at all. And other times, yeah, I just think it's kind of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, that's not something I wanna go into. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] moving on.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] With this, you'll find

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you'll go through a process of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really deep reflection and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as you go through the course,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] last time we actually had a break in between,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Sometimes you need that break. But when I talk about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] structure, I'll talk about how the replays are recorded and how

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can access them in your own time. The

[Miss Paz Bizarre] when we come together for group coaching is what I call it now because that's how

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what how it's kinda morphed into that kind of space.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we'll collaborate and talk about homework and talk about the lecture

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and bring in our questions.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You other than that being a fixed time,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] but you can also access the replay for that. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] go through it in your own time.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I really encourage you to reflect

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and take the space that you need throughout this six weeks.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And don't rush.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Don't be impulsive. Don't pressure yourself.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's not meant to be a it's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's not meant to be like an assignment. It's not meant to be something

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that is another chore, another job

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to do, another obligation. And once

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you have done this course, you can take it over

[Miss Paz Bizarre] over and over again, however many times you want to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I find every time I'm redoing it, I come

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to new insights and even consuming the same

[Miss Paz Bizarre] information, something else will click for me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So really digest it. Take the time to reflect.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Share with any partners you may have. It it's kind of like a good book. You know?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You can read the same book a hundred times at different stages

[Miss Paz Bizarre] in your life and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you'll find different understanding

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and meanings and perspectives within that. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that's who the fuck I am, and hopefully, you will find out who the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] fuck you are through doing this.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] let's go to the next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I took this from Sandra

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Jones, known as the autistic professor. She's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really great. Highly recommend her work, and that will be in some of the resources.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, again, I'd like to say if

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But that person usually has a lot in common.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] With other autistic people.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we are all unique. I'm not gonna go through everything in the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] PowerPoint. Everything is unique. Every eye yeah. Yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] there will be things and there will be stories shared

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and you might

[Miss Paz Bizarre] have a lightning bolt moment. You might

[Miss Paz Bizarre] be able to identify with something or relate and that's great.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I just encourage

[Miss Paz Bizarre] people to not go, oh, but I have

[Miss Paz Bizarre] never had that be like, I don't want it to get caught up in the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] but I do this and I don't do this. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'll steer you in the right direction once it becomes too much

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like that or neurotypical is this and neurotypical is that. We're not

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really into that. So it's more about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the commonalities we can find and strategies we can find

[Miss Paz Bizarre] together to keep it the most

[Miss Paz Bizarre] productive it can be.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay. Next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we're gonna go through a bit of the framework now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And the framework for the first six

[Miss Paz Bizarre] modules of the neuroking academy foundations

[Miss Paz Bizarre] curriculum. I don't say foundations because I haven't added in there. This is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I just decided I want it to be neuroking foundations.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We might have more later. Let's just focus on now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we'll go through in this format. Week one,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we have it now, and you'll also be able

[Miss Paz Bizarre] ask your questions. And we'll have the meet up

[Miss Paz Bizarre] where we meet up on butter

[Miss Paz Bizarre] if you sign up.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the objective will be introduce the concept of neurokink,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] exploring the intersection of neurodivergent and kink, and we will talk about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] uniqueness of our minds in the context of kink.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We'll talk about the importance of creating inclusive safe spaces for neurodivergent

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neurodivergent individuals. I'm doing that thing again when I talk really fast. And then

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm getting really excited within kin communities. Sorry.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Understanding why this course exists and how it will empower participants.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Now I know that sounds really abstract when we go in there. And of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] course, yes, we should be creating inclusive safe safe spaces for everyone,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] but even more so even more so

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for neurodivergent folk. Because in the interviews, what came up

[Miss Paz Bizarre] was a lot of trauma and a lot of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] lack of safety. And that is within lifestyle and pros

[Miss Paz Bizarre] spaces as well. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's this the modules are basically

[Miss Paz Bizarre] teased out of what was wanted. But practical stuff

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because for me, I think with the practical, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] learning Shibare or doing those things

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think it's better if you find your own space

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and this you can the the way that you learn the format you learn best in,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I don't know. It could be online. It could be video. It could be reading.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Well, people here, like, we certainly talked about it last

[Miss Paz Bizarre] cohort and learning styles and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we share resources

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think those are things where you can get anywhere

[Miss Paz Bizarre] but there's less of what

[Miss Paz Bizarre] comes up in the modules here for New York King Foundation.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So if you want to do, like, kink one zero one and learning the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] practical stuff, that's not here.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So just letting you know that now. So week two, boundaries and their importance.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we'll talk about boundaries within kink, why they are essential,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] especially for

[Miss Paz Bizarre] n d folk. And we go really deep into defining boundaries

[Miss Paz Bizarre] physical, emotional, and psychological.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And how neurodivergence can affect our understanding and enforcement of those

[Miss Paz Bizarre] boundaries. So we go a little bit into that as well. And then

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you know, we talk about how we can communicate

[Miss Paz Bizarre] whether it's on FetLife or in the wild or at a play party.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Strategies for setting, communicating, and respecting boundaries in

[Miss Paz Bizarre] kink dynamics and relationships.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] first two weeks, that's what we'll be doing.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Next slide. So weeks

[Miss Paz Bizarre] three will be on a lot of the sensory processing stuff, which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] was really fun. So we talk about sensory overload versus

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sensory seeking, how it plays out in kink, tools for managing sensory

[Miss Paz Bizarre] experiences. That's my dog now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And we'll also do a sensory map

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So use different sensory tools. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a lot of people I find haven't even thought about this

[Miss Paz Bizarre] before or they might know that this is something they like or they dislike, but

[Miss Paz Bizarre] particularly with late diagnosed people.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Or even people who are diagnosed but don't wanna be a bother. You know? Internalized ableism is a thing.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So it can be really cool to be validated in community with

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that and, like, get some cool ideas from other people.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Another really important module is week four where we talk

[Miss Paz Bizarre] its communication consent in neurodivergent kinks. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we explore a lot of communication techniques

[Miss Paz Bizarre] techniques, and consent practices.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And the importance of explicit and clear communication. Like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this is something that I find that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] newer division or not. A lot of people struggle with this.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I think it's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] puts you at an advantage, to be honest. When you're

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a really great communicator and you're

[Miss Paz Bizarre] trying to set up a scene or whether you're pro or lifestyle, whatever,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this is a skill that can be

[Miss Paz Bizarre] refined over and over again. And I find

[Miss Paz Bizarre] especially, you know, we are meant to be a space that is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really built on consent, but

[Miss Paz Bizarre] there's a lot of that not going on.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And there's a lot of not clear communication going on. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] if you are clear that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sets you up for the best experience and even if you're not

[Miss Paz Bizarre] going out there and going to a dungeon or meeting up with a pro or

[Miss Paz Bizarre] meeting up strangers on field or fat life or whatever,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's just gonna make you a better communicator. It transfers to other areas of your life. Right?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, I find these negotiates

[Miss Paz Bizarre] take you through

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and we can go through specific language

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to make communication easier. Even, like, how to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] reach out to someone for the first time and not sound like a creep.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And what you,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] ensure and be cautious of and screen

[Miss Paz Bizarre] because I I will share some of my stories where

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I met up with someone on Fairlife and got into very prejudiced

[Miss Paz Bizarre] predatory and dangerous situation. And there were people, unfortunately, who had

[Miss Paz Bizarre] numerous situations like this last cohort, which I won't be sharing in this, but

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we can share if we have anything or if we have any

[Miss Paz Bizarre] thoughts out about that. So we'll go deeper into that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Into the course. And, actually, last

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think it was week four and maybe it was week five. Let's check because we have to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] talk about that. Anyway, week five.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. Emotional safety and aftercare.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think it was week four. So week four, and we actually

[Miss Paz Bizarre] covered that. It was a

[Miss Paz Bizarre] lesson for every day. We'll see how it

[Miss Paz Bizarre] pans out, and we'll see how many people join this cohort.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because it was very intense. But it's very useful. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] hope you can see now the value that you get out of it. It's what you put in, and also

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it varies. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So bring all your questions, bring all your insights, share your stories. It's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really cool. So week five is emotional safety and aftercare.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Super important for everyone, but even more super important for us. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] when we can become highly dysregulated,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] be prone to autistic burnout, all those things. So,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] focusing on the importance of aftercare

[Miss Paz Bizarre] different ways to do aftercare. I talk about that a lot.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And the impact of play on emotional states and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] they will link in. We we talk about that when we talk about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sensory profile as well. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I talk about how my practice had actually

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I've got a different aftercare framework from

[Miss Paz Bizarre] when I was at a dungeon, which a commercial dungeon.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And that was you had to do aftercare then and there after the session.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because, you know, then the person goes home.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But I actually do mine later and give people a choice

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and would have also a free

[Miss Paz Bizarre] complimentary aftercare time where they could chat with me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But it would usually be very late.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And we talk about that and why, and it's to do with the likes of themia and processing emotions

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and all of that. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we'll talk about how that specifically affects can affect

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neurodivergent folk, and then we can, like, map it out with your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sensory profile, which is really freaking cool.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And we develop personalized aftercare routines. This is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] still week five. Physical, emotional, and psychological. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] understand the need for debriefing and aftercare posting and then which

[Miss Paz Bizarre] about all the different ways we do it. Weeks

[Miss Paz Bizarre] six is identity and power dynamics.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we talk about the role of identity and focus on neurodiversity.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Divergent identities and how they can affect power dynamics.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Embracing or challenging traditional roles,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and how in the context of neurodivergence. And this is, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a whole integration piece. I know, again, it sounds as

[Miss Paz Bizarre] abstract, but it comes all together whereby

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we really integrate the sensory stuff, the somatic stuff,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and you know how to approach people. You you feel

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you've had your questions answered. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can play and you can enjoy in a way that honors

[Miss Paz Bizarre] your needs and limits and that of your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] part play partners. And actually, we had a couple of people who were

[Miss Paz Bizarre] couples and are both neurodivergent, and that's really cool.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you can also come along if your partner's not neurodivergent and you're neurodivergent and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, it's just really

[Miss Paz Bizarre] awesome how that can open up a whole lot of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] insights that you know when you had

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So that is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] all of the curriculum content.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Alright. So I'll go into this bit now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I've got a new email, so you don't have to contact me on Paz Bazaar.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So dura king academy at gmail dot com.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We moved to substack and system. Actually, I'm gonna

[Miss Paz Bizarre] pull out

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Innuendo. Sorry.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm gonna pull out

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I have a document here.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Which I'm probably gonna make a podcast episode out of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for those people who want to listen

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it just I'm just talking about how I've structured everything now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that's what we're gonna be covering.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm on screen play dynamics, integration if, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] finish up with the integration week week six.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You'll find reflection questions at every point. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] over time, you'll tune into your body more and more.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you'll start noticing

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what your body does because we do a lot of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] body better work, a lot of interoception work,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a bunch of semantics. Don't worry. I'm not gonna be like, just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] breathe. One of my kids hates that. They're like, why does it always have, like, breathe

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It just makes me more anxious. So we will you'll start to connect

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to your body more as you think about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] how you connect. And when you feel

[Miss Paz Bizarre] fight fight, flight, or fawn,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what's your default, all of these things. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] these reflections and the prompts

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that you get will also form the backbone of our

[Miss Paz Bizarre] live sessions together as we go along.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you notice things as you go along.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So before I used to run it all on Purdier, Purdier was

[Miss Paz Bizarre] crazy easy. So if you ever wanna do an online course,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I recommend you do it on Podia if you have a lot of money. It was just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah. So for different reasons,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] now, I moved it all onto substack and system.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So substack will be our main home base,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] but it's not for the course predominantly. You can certainly find a link

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to it there. Subsec is where you just find updates, reflections, all of the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] extra ongoing content. Of course, you can subscribe for free.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If you become a paid subscriber, which will be ten dollars

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Australian Australian dollars a month, you'll unlock

[Miss Paz Bizarre] additional access, which will be extra webinars,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] where I go deeper into neurodivergent embodiment,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a sensory play, different frameworks,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that you can use. I'm also gonna be doing live chats, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] smaller, more informal q and a's where you can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] ask about whatever's coming up for you in real time.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And then I'm just gonna do some kind of comfy

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, cave bedroom chat. I don't know. I just made that up.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Like a bedroom chat because I'll be doing it in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Can't see. I'm in a rainbow. But, yeah, these are gonna be very

[Miss Paz Bizarre] casual livestreams where I go live.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you can drop in to talk with me

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So it'll be relaxed in our community. No PowerPoint

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Just grounded conversation. And this will

[Miss Paz Bizarre] be open only to paid Substack members.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So this, the NeuroKink Foundations Course itself,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is sixty dollars Australian, one off

[Miss Paz Bizarre] payment, and it includes

[Miss Paz Bizarre] six prerecorded lectures, which will be

[Miss Paz Bizarre] around

[Miss Paz Bizarre] around six hours total depending on the content and how I release it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And then we'll have six live sessions. So we

[Miss Paz Bizarre] after this, we will still have the live session for anyone who enrolls.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And these are more like I don't wanna say tutorials because that would

[Miss Paz Bizarre] be like me just speaking at you. It's not they're more group discussions.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] another six hours or more depending on the group, give or take.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you'll get that replay. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the structure is simple.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Each week, you get a new prerecorded lecture.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You can watch it any time that works for your brain and your body.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Then we have a live

[Miss Paz Bizarre] chat together, group discussion together, where we unpack the ideas

[Miss Paz Bizarre] from that week's lecture. And so I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I would say think of the lecture as a content and the live as the integration of that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And it's where you get to share. It's where you get to ask questions or

[Miss Paz Bizarre] just listen and soak it all up. If you can't make a live that's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] completely okay. You're not told off. You're not in trouble. I'm not, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you're not paying me enough. Like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sorry. I'm just that kinda joke up. No. But it's fine.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] The live, if you can't make it,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's recorded and it's uploaded, and it will be uploaded into the system.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Portal. So for neuroking foundations,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] course, and you can watch the replay whenever you're ready.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I just realized you can't

[Miss Paz Bizarre] even see Michael. I'm wearing an alien top. Can you see it?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. Just wanted to show you. Anyway,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] back to what I was saying. Once you've enrolled in the neuroking foundations

[Miss Paz Bizarre] course, you'll have lifetime access to everything inside

[Miss Paz Bizarre] there, all the videos, replays, all the bonus materials.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] When I say lifetime, people are like, oh, okay. Until the third

[Miss Paz Bizarre] die. Lifetime, it means the lifetime of the horse, not your lifetime

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So and whenever I decided to take it down, but

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you know,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] don't panic.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If you you have access to it for as long as you have access to it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and you can always download the things. Yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So everything officially starts this December.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. It has been crazy. We're not gonna go into all the stuff

[Miss Paz Bizarre] of why it was delayed and delayed and delayed. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's happening again now. That's great.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you can subscribe, and you can register your interest now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And when cohort two opens,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm still gathering more people, you'll get a direct email with the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] enrollment link. You can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can buy it now for sixty bucks.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I was also setting up a Discord community

[Miss Paz Bizarre] course participants, but I'm now I'm just using system.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm just gonna have the community within system.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And, also, substack will be

[Miss Paz Bizarre] another community for us. And we're

[Miss Paz Bizarre] use whichever one is easier for you. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that'll eventually become our post course integration hub and people

[Miss Paz Bizarre] on the neuroking foundation system community.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's where people can check-in

[Miss Paz Bizarre] People can share wins.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. It'll all be there. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I just forgot what I was saying. Yeah. And you can also ask

[Miss Paz Bizarre] questions after the course ends, and, hopefully, people will talk to you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So to summarize everything,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] substack, main home. Let's see if I can say it really

[Miss Paz Bizarre] No. Then you won't be able to hear it like okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Subset I was I'll say it without digressing. How about that?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's gonna be a challenge. Sub sec main home.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Ten dollars a month. Ongoing access.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Extra webinars, live chats,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] my comfy bedroom chat.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Neuroking foundations course, sixty dollars

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Pay it once. You get six weeks of content. That's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] approximately twelve hours total, lectures, lives,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] lifetime access, just not till the day you die.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Lifetime of the course.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And neurocognitive system community

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for everyone enrolled in NeuroKink Foundations, and that will be to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] integration and community connection. You have access to that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] When you sign up. Now you can subscribe,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] pay, register your interest now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But before I do that,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I wanna take you through the questions. Some of the questions from

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, I couldn't put in all the questions from

[Miss Paz Bizarre] week one, and there was some from week two. There because some

[Miss Paz Bizarre] people didn't consent to it, but some of them were really, really good. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think it will be helpful to go through them, and I did a

[Miss Paz Bizarre] transcript of one of my answers.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So that you can get an idea

[Miss Paz Bizarre] of what kind of things you can ask and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah. This kind of discussions we have.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Should I talk about that?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Let's go to the questions, and we'll come back to that. I like to wing things

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sometimes. Okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] These are the reflection questions.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay. Here they are. This is the questions from last cohort. Last

[Miss Paz Bizarre] New York kink academy cohort one.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I keep masking in sessions and then crash

[Miss Paz Bizarre] afterwards. How do I find a way to dom that feels actually is the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sustainable for my brain? I thought this one was brilliant.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what I said

[Miss Paz Bizarre] in response to this let's bring it up.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We talked about it as a group and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we were saying that this is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really incredibly common for

[Miss Paz Bizarre] domes

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I was saying that I had to find a system

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for me as well. And so the shift isn't about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] fixing yourself or contorting yourself.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm paraphrasing. I'm adding in my own things. I can't

[Miss Paz Bizarre] when I read off the transcript, so it feels weird to me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I'll just add more things in organically. So it's about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] shifting from performing performing dominance to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] inhabiting it, to being it. So we actually talked a lot about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] different exercises you can do before and after.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And different prompts like what does it feel

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like when no one's watching you to to be dominant?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because I know and we talked about this when you're doing doubles,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like when you're working with another practitioner or you're working with someone else, that can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] cause you to mask more. It certainly does for me. Sometimes I like to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] being able to be without being hyper vigilant.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And then I put put it on more. Yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Same with clients that I have a really good rapport with.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So it's about building your session

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I said, and your style

[Miss Paz Bizarre] from that version of you rather than

[Miss Paz Bizarre] trying to match a dom aesthetic that burns you out

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So you don't have to earn your legitimacy by pushing past

[Miss Paz Bizarre] your body's limits. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you drop the mask, but then it gives you more power.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I'm thinking about this now. I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] actually, and I think that's why I didn't enjoy being a

[Miss Paz Bizarre] submissive because it caused me to mask

[Miss Paz Bizarre] so much. So in Berlin, you have to when you do your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] apprenticeship to be

[Miss Paz Bizarre] become a predominant, you have to be dismissive for the apprenticeship

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for the first whatever it was for me was

[Miss Paz Bizarre] eight months, and you have to do, like, six shifts

[Miss Paz Bizarre] a week. Anyway and the shifts are, like, really long.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Anyway, the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] point is I found that really

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, it was really good to get that education, but I found it really draining.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I just had that insight then. So that's really cool. And you

[Miss Paz Bizarre] will probably have insights as well as you go through this.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] was when it is there is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to a degree a performance, the role.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Especially when it's top, it's different to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what am I saying, top? Transactional top.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If you're a commercial top,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's different to lifestyle. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's more like the shift is moving from performing Dom

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to inhabiting

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Dom. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] build your practice from that place and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] choose scenes and dynamics that honor

[Miss Paz Bizarre] your real energetic patterns. I mean,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this this can go into

[Miss Paz Bizarre] lifestyle as well as pro.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But for me, I just decided

[Miss Paz Bizarre] from a pro perspective, I did it naturally in lifestyle.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Dynamics because whatever. It's my life. My personal life.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I found with pro domination, it when you're working in a dungeon,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you have to do what sells. You don't have as much choice.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you're doing a lot of mimicking a lot of the mainstream

[Miss Paz Bizarre] archetypes more. And also that's what clients ask of you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But when you're not on that crazy conveyor belt, and which I haven't been on the last few years,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And working independently, I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] have checked that all in the bin. And I work with the archetypes

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that I enjoy. So if you've seen my work,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as a MILF, as a mummy, I love anal baby. I love like, they

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm very cerebral, so I enjoy humiliation.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] A lot of people don't. I really fucking love it. And that's the thing. It's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] stuff that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] gives me energy.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Not takes it away. So if you can find that,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can map it out,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and with hopefully parts of this

[Miss Paz Bizarre] this experience, this group coaching will help you map it out.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Then you can begin to incorporate rituals,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as well and build on that that help you decompress after session.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Normalize showing up in scenes as your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] self. No one should drop

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the mask maybe slightly, but not perfecting it. Like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] some people ask me, how do I have a mask completely? But I don't even think that's safe to do.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I don't really agree with that. I think that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's fine. It's just about, like, what percentage.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So and if you've got the bot the practices and you know

[Miss Paz Bizarre] can manage your energy, then you don't necessarily need to.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If that makes sense.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that was one of the awesome questions, and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] probably write freaking essay about it. We'll do a TED talk.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I wanna answer one more

[Miss Paz Bizarre] of these ones, but we can all

[Miss Paz Bizarre] answer them or you and you can come up with your own questions as well.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Which we will discuss.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] What am I trying to do?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Trying to find the another one that was a cool answer.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I feel like just the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I feel like it's just the next one

[Miss Paz Bizarre] was

[Miss Paz Bizarre] my favorite as well as the trauma thing.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] The trauma thing. The last one, I think,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. I think we'll do

[Miss Paz Bizarre] two and then six because we're at forty four minutes now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And that's cool. Yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Ones are my favorite.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And then I'll go on to the rest of the lesson.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So the next question was, is it normal to feel

[Miss Paz Bizarre] comfortable topping online than in person? I'm not sure if that's an

[Miss Paz Bizarre] thing or just me. And, yes,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I had a lot of experience with this because I do online sessions and offline sessions.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Sessions, and it depends on my capacity and what is easier.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And the thing is when it's online,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it is easier, but

[Miss Paz Bizarre] also face to face gives me a top eye. And I don't get really get that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] online. So I said,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and a lot of us talked about it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It a lot of us. There was only ten people, but, you know and, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] people won't really make it to the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] three people showed up. That's the other thing. Sometimes

[Miss Paz Bizarre] library place, and that's okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, yeah, sometimes it can be private coaching for you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Just depends on who shows up. So show up, and you can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] talk to miss Pascazar.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] For ten dollars ten dollars an hour.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] What it is. You know? Okay. Answering the question.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So I said, online scenes give you way more space to regulate

[Miss Paz Bizarre] because you can pause, you can stem, you can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] eat snacks. And you have more control

[Miss Paz Bizarre] control over your sensory environment. It doesn't make

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the dominance any less real, and you just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] go with what feels good for you. If online is where you feel

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the most powerful and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you feel glad to control your sensory environment, then

[Miss Paz Bizarre] own it. Do it. In person plates,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] can be explored at your pace if you wanna expand

[Miss Paz Bizarre] we talk about that as well a lot. I'm deviating from the transcript now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Whereby, I discovered I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] hate play parties which are large and I don't know the people.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If I there's a play party where where king of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] event where I know everyone really well, then I'm more likely to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] engage. Yeah. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah. And I just say digital dominance is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] valid, and it's sustainable and fucking hot ads.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You do you. And, you know,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think the less sensory and social overwhelm can be great.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] There's less demands for eye contact, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you see my eyes are all over the place.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I find it funny because a lot of the time when I'm with people, I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] will process things or be talking, and I look at a way.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And to be able to talk. And people, like, look,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] in the direction I'm looking. So there's none of that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. So here we are here to talk about thriving in an environment that's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] supports your nervous system and that all be all play partners and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, I actually recommend it if you're new.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It can be good to explore in person, but some people may find it hard

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So it can be good to build up slowly and keep it in your toolkit.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] As a valid form of expression. Why not?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] obviously, when we're face to face, we can go

[Miss Paz Bizarre] much deeper.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And people often have questions or like to share in between that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So in six, I said, what if I feel more in control bottoming? Is that a trauma you're

[Miss Paz Bizarre] divergent thing or something to explore? Especially a couple of people about this.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And they were like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I take

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the reins because my partner, like, doesn't.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But then they both, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] they don't enjoy

[Miss Paz Bizarre] taking the reins. They don't enjoy being the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] top. They wanna bottom. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I say

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I say

[Miss Paz Bizarre] where did I put it?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I say about labels.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I said it could,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Well, I said, it could relate to trauma and neurodivergence or neither.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And you don't need to over identify with any of those labels to explore it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Some people experience safety and structural power more clearly from the bottom.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Others just like it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And feeling powerful in a bottoming role

[Miss Paz Bizarre] doesn't invalidate your dominance. It might show you a different route into it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Certainly did for me doing my apprenticeship. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you're allowed to explore your power without explaining it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Let curiosity lead. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really, some neuro division

[Miss Paz Bizarre] folk experience control through structure.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And while negotiated bottoming can offer that,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Other people have trauma histories that make reset

[Miss Paz Bizarre] with with boundaries

[Miss Paz Bizarre] feel safer than leading.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And none of that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] disqualifies you from exploring either. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the thing is to have that self awareness. Like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] asking what kind of control am I craving? Over who?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] In what context? So I'm a switch

[Miss Paz Bizarre] through and through, but the thing is, professionally, I don't do that because

[Miss Paz Bizarre] oh, there are so many people who don't fucking know what they're doing. And the way the world has become now,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] We could go way deep into that about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] everything that's going on on the Internet. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and porn tropes of what

[Miss Paz Bizarre] BDSM is and what femdom is and what

[Miss Paz Bizarre] submission is. Like, I speak to people all the time and people who are sex workers

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and they don't have a fucking clue. And they think that, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] being as submissive to someone is just hate fucking. It's like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you don't know. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I digress.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] What I'm saying is that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can build control dynamics

[Miss Paz Bizarre] into submissive roles.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yes. I, did a plan for myself.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Was it early oh, is it last year or this year? I don't even remember who I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] fucked you. Either way,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I did my own plan and took it to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] some boys and yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Like, I got to control the whole thing. Really, this missive is in control.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Well, that's what they say. So service topping, power bottoms, brat.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Tamer, whatever. Don't lock yourself into roles based on external label.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Labels. Follow the felt sons of power within you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. Okay. So who answer calls

[Miss Paz Bizarre] stuff like that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Let's go back now, though. Take a pause.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So where were we?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Here. Here. Yeah. Just checking.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So with this, understanding neurodivergence and kink, we go we went from, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the practical back to the theory. I won't read it

[Miss Paz Bizarre] exactly. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] what I mainly talk about in the next box with the definition is that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neurodivergence includes ADHD, autism, dyslexia,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Other cognitive variations too that influence perception, sense,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] processing, and communication. But this course this course here

[Miss Paz Bizarre] neuroking foundations, this course specifically focuses on the experience

[Miss Paz Bizarre] of autistic and ADHD or ADHD

[Miss Paz Bizarre] kinksters. And it's recognizing that we all have

[Miss Paz Bizarre] unique perspectives to share. And so that is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you know, they're the people I interviewed and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that is what I focus on.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Drawing from both my lived experience and professional background,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] hand studies, and my research, and I'm writing a book on all of this, I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] am super excited to offer insights, but I'm also open

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to learning from other neurodivergent folk.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So we can all go through shared experiences and mutual understanding.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And why does this matter?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm gonna paraphrase. Because Kate is autistic as fuck.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] No. It's really creative and allows for

[Miss Paz Bizarre] all of our expressions. I just really do think it is

[Miss Paz Bizarre] autistic as far as, it works perfectly and very ADHD

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. If you listen to my podcast episode on ADHD and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] BDSM or ADHD and kink. I can't remember what I called it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Just look up ADHD in my podcast.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Episode. You can find it on pod bean find it on my website.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] There's a website player on the home page. That was like one of my most downloaded episodes.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It was, like, eighty plus. I don't know. It was crazy.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And so many people wrote into me about that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So yeah. Because it's so

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you can have so much structure and it's like, oh, I know what to do. It's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] not like this I don't know what I meant to do in this experience.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] With, like, vanilla sex.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It is it's very clear. It's very negotiated.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's can be very grounding for an autistic person.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] For an ADHD, it can be, like, so stimulating and the novelty and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] oh, and if you're ADHD like me, yay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You get all your special interests.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And, yeah, it can be great for that serotonin and dopamine and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah. That's why we also talk about top drop and everything too.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Because that can be really, really bad when it happens when

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you have less of the happy chemicals

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Alright.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Here is just very basic. I'm talking about the neurodivergent trait

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and the influence on kink. I've written written articles about this as well.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] On bad kitty, I would think it was. And for per,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the erotic story app, check it out.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] sensory sensitivities can be reasons why we're drawn.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] To it, to kink,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] hyperfocus and special interest.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] A need for clarity and structure,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and all of these things can enhance

[Miss Paz Bizarre] our enjoyment of the activity.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And here I talk about emotional intensity in our

[Miss Paz Bizarre] rejection sensitivity, dysphoria,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Like, this is another part of why communication styles matter after

[Miss Paz Bizarre] care, reassurance.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You can need more customization.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And this is what I was alluding to, executive dysfunction.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It can influence session planning, but,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] after care routines and following protocols really, really important.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Not the following protocols, the aftercare

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I have a whole system in place for myself

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and it keeps changing. It keeps changing depending on my seasonal life.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Where I'm at, where my capacity is at. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] how many clients I decide to take on in a day,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I know it's gonna be a big day. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's even more important, like, you know, not just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the basics of, oh, have a good meal, have protein, like, have vitamins. It

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it becomes essential to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really look after your mind and body.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] here, I talk about breaking

[Miss Paz Bizarre] stigma and embracing neurodivergent kink approaches.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And how

[Miss Paz Bizarre] let's talk about the most important thing in there.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] drop after care and recovery might require unique

[Miss Paz Bizarre] approaches. So as I was saying, with this, I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] have some day sometimes five days after

[Miss Paz Bizarre] One of my clients, it takes them a long time to process. So they actually, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to speak to me two weeks after. And they like to do that too because if they

[Miss Paz Bizarre] process too quickly after a scene, then they become really dysregulated and affects

[Miss Paz Bizarre] all of their work. So they kind of just compartmentalize it, put it in a box,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] and then they can really reflect when they have this

[Miss Paz Bizarre] space and time and fall apart as they may so need or

[Miss Paz Bizarre] the time they need to see their therapist.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, really going into that and talking

[Miss Paz Bizarre] about the third space and the bus

[Miss Paz Bizarre] buffer. And I'm feeling shame for it because I think that's I think a lot of these things

[Miss Paz Bizarre] maybe they're new to some people, but I think a lot of people do know these things, but it's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] really cool to come into community and then be like, oh, yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's normal. I need that. And then it kinda gives you

[Miss Paz Bizarre] permission. Not that you need my permission or anyone else's, but it can help.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You're not alone.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. So here, again,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] in creating neurodivergent neuro affirming

[Miss Paz Bizarre] ND Affirming kink spaces.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I think out of that bit, you need to read the PDF of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] have a link to this as well.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's important to normalize accommodations whatever

[Miss Paz Bizarre] they may be. I know some people like

[Miss Paz Bizarre] written instructions. I know some people

[Miss Paz Bizarre] prefer for me to speak a certain way, but it also you know, you can't just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] be me me me me me has to be that works.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But you've gotta get good at asking it and you've gotta get good at

[Miss Paz Bizarre] being like, it's okay. And asking it without it being

[Miss Paz Bizarre] something that, again, you're ashamed of. And knowing that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] if you're an ally or if you're a play partner,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is neurodivergent, and that's why you're taking this

[Miss Paz Bizarre] course and coming into this space.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] They are high likely to be masking in social settings.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And they need the space to unmask in play. Like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] so make sure you're doing that. I've found that a lot of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] people because they found out about well, not found out about my work. They knew about my work. So when trans

[Miss Paz Bizarre] about my work. But then they would just try and take me to every fuck party and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] swing his license. Like, then I'm

[Miss Paz Bizarre] not being unmasked and that is draining to me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So, yeah, it's really important to be mindful about all of that.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Also, it's important to be mindful about neuro

[Miss Paz Bizarre] divergent burnout, sensory overloads, breaks, and pacing. I always put lots of breaks

[Miss Paz Bizarre] as much as someone needs. I can go full up, like, paging some of

[Miss Paz Bizarre] four to six hours. That's not a problem. But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for me, I need food and snacks. Otherwise, I get hangry. So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] all of those things, and you'll find out

[Miss Paz Bizarre] along the journey. Sorry. No Shivaro from me.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm not Shivara's aiming, by the way. I'm just saying because

[Miss Paz Bizarre] some people were like, oh, do I get videos on this and that?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] If I do this? It's like, no. You can get plenty of people who know how to tie a rope.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I'm not good at it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Okay. So this is a reflection

[Miss Paz Bizarre] discussion or reflection question for you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Just think about this, and maybe it's the first time

[Miss Paz Bizarre] you thought about it. Maybe you already know the answer.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] How do you own your divergent traits or those of partners shape

[Miss Paz Bizarre] your kink experiences? Maybe you haven't had a kink experience.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But

[Miss Paz Bizarre] if you haven't and you want to think about

[Miss Paz Bizarre] how they might, and that can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] get you a starting point of where you could start working from.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So take a photo of that, or or will you go to PDF?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You don't need to take a screenshot.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And then it might be something we talk about in the first

[Miss Paz Bizarre] class together. Woo hoo.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Next slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] What accommodations or adjustments make Kink more accessible for you?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Again, you may not know.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Have a think. What do you think?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Now that I'm asking you?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] As I said, for me,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] having something to chew on, chewing gum,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] It's like working out some, windows at the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] dungeon in Berlin. You're not allowed to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] chew gum as banned.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And and just little things like that helped me

[Miss Paz Bizarre] that's a really lame one, but snacks.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] The ability if I'm working in a dungeon, the ability to

[Miss Paz Bizarre] play my own music.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Like, music really throws me off, and I just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I don't like a lot of, like, music.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That they play.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] These are, like, really lame examples I'm coming up with.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But you can have a think about it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And I'll think about some other ones which are better as well for our first chat.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. Just anything that you believe would

[Miss Paz Bizarre] make it more accessible for you.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Being one that is important

[Miss Paz Bizarre] for me is not having an overstimulation of, like, a bunch

[Miss Paz Bizarre] strangers. Like, I like

[Miss Paz Bizarre] to screen everybody, and that's why I really like independent work too and

[Miss Paz Bizarre] having low volume.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah. That's me for now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] how can we challenge ableism within king spaces and normalized neurodivergent needs?

[Miss Paz Bizarre] This sounds abstract, but this really is, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it's simple in the sense that by

[Miss Paz Bizarre] saying, this is what I need, this is what I refer, and, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] being open to what your

[Miss Paz Bizarre] play partner needs as well. So it's just about being open.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] But interested to hear other people's thoughts too.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And the we go back to the

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I

[Miss Paz Bizarre] next steps, this is the last slide.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And we've come up to one hour and five minutes.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So subscribe in the sub stack, and you can receive announcements when

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, neuro cat king foundation

[Miss Paz Bizarre] is opening. You can buy it, and then you can

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I won't be doing the course, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] it will all be there, but I'll give it to you

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, drip fed stuff? But in having said that,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] there was, like, one person who wanted to speed through, which was fine.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] So if that's you, you can just let me know, and I can just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] make it available to you. It's just that

[Miss Paz Bizarre] I want people to engage, and I find that they can be overwhelmed if they just

[Miss Paz Bizarre] like, open it a lot.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And it's easier just to engage with it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] As we are going through it through the six weeks.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Yeah.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's it.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Thanks for coming, and I hope you will join.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And check it out.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] You've got a lot to have a look at now.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And come and explore. And really,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] where it happens is the lectures are good.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] And when we meet up, I would say that's

[Miss Paz Bizarre] great because whether there's, many people there or, like,

[Miss Paz Bizarre] two people there, you

[Miss Paz Bizarre] get to show up and have it personalized for you if you're

[Miss Paz Bizarre] one of those two. And

[Miss Paz Bizarre] yeah, I'm looking forward to the next one and seeing what will happen from here.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Woo hoo. Alright.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] That's all for now, and I hope to see you in there.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Alright.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] See you in the sub stack. Our own system.

[Miss Paz Bizarre] Bye.

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